Post by Redz on Apr 15, 2004 18:01:59 GMT
JUST as he did 15 years ago, John Aldridge today made the trip to his beloved Anfield to lay flowers in memory of the Liverpool fans who died at Hillsborough.
On the 15th anniversary of the disaster, the former Reds hero turned his thoughts back to the day when 96 people went to watch a football match and never came home.
It is a topic which Aldridge, a naturally talkative person, still finds difficult to discuss.
The passage of time has failed to heal many of the psychological wounds that he suffered on April 15, 1989, and in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy.
To Aldridge, the supporters who stood on the Leppings Lane end that day were part of him.
They idolised him as their representative on the pitch. And he idolised them. Knowing that 96 of them were killed watching him play hurt Aldridge so much he almost quit football.
Today he reflects on Hillsborough, the build-up to the disaster and its aftermath in a moving account of a tragedy which still burns deep into the psyche of his home town 15 years on.
THE BUILD-UP
LIVERPOOL had beaten Brentford 4-0 in the quarter finals of the FA Cup and were drawn to play Nottingham Forest in the semi-finals.
In a repeat of a tie at the same stage of the competition the previous season, the two sides would meet at Sheffield Wednesday's Hillsborough ground on April 15, 1989.
At the time, Liverpool were the dominant team in the league and hopes were high that the club would go on to complete an unprecedented league and cup double.
As was the Liverpool way, Aldridge recalls that everything in the run up to the big game was "the same as before".
He said: " We stayed in a hotel in Sheffield and we did everything the same as the year before.
"We got up, had something to eat and then went for a pre-match walk.
"Then we got on to the coach and drove to the ground. Everything seemed normal - there were loads of fans around but there wasn't a hint of trouble. We got into the dressing rooms and the build-up was no different than normal.
"I can remember going out for the warm-up and we kicked in at the same end as the year before.
"There was a great atmosphere and if anything it seemed a little bit more buoyant than when we played Forest there on the previous occasion.
"We were looking forward to the game and when it kicked off it started in an unbelievable way - it was non-stop attacking by both teams."
THE DISASTER UNFOLDS
WITH the game in its infancy, players from both sides were intent to register the early goal that would have given them a crucial advantage.
They were oblivious to the unfolding tragedy in the Leppings Lane end, where Liverpool supporters were fighting for their lives as a crush built up behind the goal.
A breakdown in policing, coupled with an appalling stadium design, had turned the terrace into a deathtrap.
At 3.06pm supporters began spilling onto the pitch, trying to escape what had become a seething mass of human suffering.
Reds keeper Bruce Grobbelaar alerted referee Ray Lewis to the problem behind his goal. The game was suspended and both sets of players were taken to the dressing room area.
Aldridge says that he was completely unaware of what was happening until the referee blew his whistle.
He said: "I remember we could have scored when Peter (Beardsley) hit the bar and I think they could have scored as well.
"At that point we were not aware that anything was happening.
"Then, all of a sudden, the referee blew his whistle and told us to get into the dressing rooms.
"I thought a barrier had collapsed and there would just be a bit of a hold-up while it was sorted out.
"Kenny (Dalglish) was telling us to keep warm because we all thought the match would restart.
"The club had to do it that way but if we'd have known what was going on I would have liked to have been out there helping."
It was only later that it occurred to Aldridge that it was only his God-given ability as a footballer which saved his life and the lives of his loved ones: he was on the pitch rather than behind the goal; his family were in other parts of the stadium, rather than with the rest of the Liverpool fans.
He added: "My wife, my dad and all my mates were out there. They were all over the ground. But, luckily, because I was a player, I had managed to get them seats.
"The fact is if I hadn't made it as a player I would have been in that end. Whenever and wherever I went away with Liverpool as a fan I always stood in the middle behind the goal because that is where the atmosphere is best."
The first horrible realisation that something was going terribly wrong was as he sat in the dressing room waiting for the match to re-start.
He said: "I can remember sitting there, hearing loads of shouting in the corridor outside.
"I heard someone shouting that people were dead and I thought 'that can't be right'.
"But then Kenny came back in and told us what was happening - everything went hazy in my mind.
"Then the game was officially called off and we went to see our wives and families in the players' bar. There were pictures of the ground on TV and the count at that time said there were 30 dead.
"But then I heard John Motson say there were 40.
"I didn't know what to do. It was really difficult to take in.
"I can remember drinking cups of tea, then getting on the players' bus.
"It was completely silent during the drive back to Liverpool.
"I got dropped off on Queens Drive and got a taxi home. When I got there I just watched the television, trying to take in what had happened.
"But it didn't start to really hit me until midnight and then I got really upset.
"I got myself to bed but didn't really sleep and I got up the next morning and put the TV on again."
On the 15th anniversary of the disaster, the former Reds hero turned his thoughts back to the day when 96 people went to watch a football match and never came home.
It is a topic which Aldridge, a naturally talkative person, still finds difficult to discuss.
The passage of time has failed to heal many of the psychological wounds that he suffered on April 15, 1989, and in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy.
To Aldridge, the supporters who stood on the Leppings Lane end that day were part of him.
They idolised him as their representative on the pitch. And he idolised them. Knowing that 96 of them were killed watching him play hurt Aldridge so much he almost quit football.
Today he reflects on Hillsborough, the build-up to the disaster and its aftermath in a moving account of a tragedy which still burns deep into the psyche of his home town 15 years on.
THE BUILD-UP
LIVERPOOL had beaten Brentford 4-0 in the quarter finals of the FA Cup and were drawn to play Nottingham Forest in the semi-finals.
In a repeat of a tie at the same stage of the competition the previous season, the two sides would meet at Sheffield Wednesday's Hillsborough ground on April 15, 1989.
At the time, Liverpool were the dominant team in the league and hopes were high that the club would go on to complete an unprecedented league and cup double.
As was the Liverpool way, Aldridge recalls that everything in the run up to the big game was "the same as before".
He said: " We stayed in a hotel in Sheffield and we did everything the same as the year before.
"We got up, had something to eat and then went for a pre-match walk.
"Then we got on to the coach and drove to the ground. Everything seemed normal - there were loads of fans around but there wasn't a hint of trouble. We got into the dressing rooms and the build-up was no different than normal.
"I can remember going out for the warm-up and we kicked in at the same end as the year before.
"There was a great atmosphere and if anything it seemed a little bit more buoyant than when we played Forest there on the previous occasion.
"We were looking forward to the game and when it kicked off it started in an unbelievable way - it was non-stop attacking by both teams."
THE DISASTER UNFOLDS
WITH the game in its infancy, players from both sides were intent to register the early goal that would have given them a crucial advantage.
They were oblivious to the unfolding tragedy in the Leppings Lane end, where Liverpool supporters were fighting for their lives as a crush built up behind the goal.
A breakdown in policing, coupled with an appalling stadium design, had turned the terrace into a deathtrap.
At 3.06pm supporters began spilling onto the pitch, trying to escape what had become a seething mass of human suffering.
Reds keeper Bruce Grobbelaar alerted referee Ray Lewis to the problem behind his goal. The game was suspended and both sets of players were taken to the dressing room area.
Aldridge says that he was completely unaware of what was happening until the referee blew his whistle.
He said: "I remember we could have scored when Peter (Beardsley) hit the bar and I think they could have scored as well.
"At that point we were not aware that anything was happening.
"Then, all of a sudden, the referee blew his whistle and told us to get into the dressing rooms.
"I thought a barrier had collapsed and there would just be a bit of a hold-up while it was sorted out.
"Kenny (Dalglish) was telling us to keep warm because we all thought the match would restart.
"The club had to do it that way but if we'd have known what was going on I would have liked to have been out there helping."
It was only later that it occurred to Aldridge that it was only his God-given ability as a footballer which saved his life and the lives of his loved ones: he was on the pitch rather than behind the goal; his family were in other parts of the stadium, rather than with the rest of the Liverpool fans.
He added: "My wife, my dad and all my mates were out there. They were all over the ground. But, luckily, because I was a player, I had managed to get them seats.
"The fact is if I hadn't made it as a player I would have been in that end. Whenever and wherever I went away with Liverpool as a fan I always stood in the middle behind the goal because that is where the atmosphere is best."
The first horrible realisation that something was going terribly wrong was as he sat in the dressing room waiting for the match to re-start.
He said: "I can remember sitting there, hearing loads of shouting in the corridor outside.
"I heard someone shouting that people were dead and I thought 'that can't be right'.
"But then Kenny came back in and told us what was happening - everything went hazy in my mind.
"Then the game was officially called off and we went to see our wives and families in the players' bar. There were pictures of the ground on TV and the count at that time said there were 30 dead.
"But then I heard John Motson say there were 40.
"I didn't know what to do. It was really difficult to take in.
"I can remember drinking cups of tea, then getting on the players' bus.
"It was completely silent during the drive back to Liverpool.
"I got dropped off on Queens Drive and got a taxi home. When I got there I just watched the television, trying to take in what had happened.
"But it didn't start to really hit me until midnight and then I got really upset.
"I got myself to bed but didn't really sleep and I got up the next morning and put the TV on again."